Do you know why most resolutions don't work?
Three weeks in to 2024 and I have to ask:
How's it going so far?
Studies have shown that most of us don't make it that far into our New Year resolutions.
Usually we're done after the first few days.
WHY does this happen?
But, before I tell you my theory- I will tell you my story.
On January 2nd, I decided to give up alcohol for 21 days.
Why did I do that?
Because I wanted to cut back, clear out my system and give my body a re-set.
Even though I only drink wine on the weekends, and an occasional beer when out listening to music;
I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it! (it isn't always easy, especially when out with friends, but I had a plan and some seltzer with lemon)
I'm writing this as of day 19 no alcohol
So far so good!
What's my secret?
Having a "buddy" to do it with; emailing each other every day to stay accountable and seeing it as an act of self-love and self compssion.
Although I was prepared to do it on my own, finding someone to share this with has been very helpful.
We had a few ground rules to start:
~openness and honesty
~no advice or suggestions to the other (unless asked for)
~a safe and sacred trust
~and freedom to end this at any point.
Which leads me to talk about my theory of
why resolutions don't really work.
I see it as a distinction between;
Motivation or Inspiration.
There's a big difference between the two.
Simply put, Motivation is usually driven by fear...it's usually stemming from a situation that has become intolerable and we will do anything to change it up.
Inspiration has a softer, gentler quality- we feel the pull toward creating something and it's guided from within (or above)
Having said that, I want to be clear-
Motivation can have it's benefits- for instance, if you want to change your diet, exercise more because you don't want to get sick- then the motivation to make the changes can help you tremendously! (think of examples in your own life where the fear of negative outcomes has prompted you to make change)
On the other hand, think of a time when you were INspired to make a change. You took a meditation class, and truly loved how it made you feel; so making a commitment to a regular practice has been easy.
DO YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE?
Movivation is usually externally driven. (the danger is running toward us, so we high tail it out of there)
Inspiration is usually internally driven: Our souls call us to do something that resonates so we do more of that.
Although I've over-simplified it here (there are plenty of examples to prove that external factors are beneficial-actually fear is a powerful motivator) But ultimately, we can claim self-mastery when we are inspired to make lasting changes.
While there's way more to the psychology of this, I felt compelled to share it with you in my simplified version.
AND, truth be told-
this is part of what makes my coaching practice so successful!
I show my clients how they are able to make life long; and sometimes dramatic shifts in their lives.
They are internally driven to create lasting changes.
And that, my loves, is how you make a difference.
Plus, I AM there every step of the way until you learn how to internalize the motivation.
If you've been thinking about making some changes in your life (big, small or anything in between);
CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE: livinglotuscoaching.com
Don't walk this path alone, find the support you need- Life is all about connecting and living from the place of joy within.
Wishing you a great week, a magical, Joyful and much light to fill your heart.
Find your Inspiration HERE (points to heart)
PS: CHECK OUT MY WEBSITE: livinglotuscoaching.com