My Not So Perfect Life

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"ARE YOU RETIRED?" asked my new neighbor.

Not gonna lie, this one made me cringe just a bit.  You see, I work at home a lot of the time- so from her perspective, it looks like I don't leave the house. 

Bringing up my feelings of un-worthiness- and that I should always "appear" busy and productive- I had to temper my reaction from the  snarky-"no, I just sit around and eat bon-bons all day"- to defensive- "I work at home, so I'm busy all day long"

This is one of the many challenges of being a self-employed entrepreneur. People have their own ideas of what that looks like- and I can tell you first hand, it's not for the faint of heart. 

I've been out of the corporate world for over 25 years and I know things have changed greatly- but out of all the things I've learned is that you have to do what's right for you.    AND, one of the biggest lessons of all, 

  If you don't deal with your shadow, your shadow will deal with you.


What do I mean by this? 


For me, it means really digging down to the deepest core of what I thought my life should look like and honoring what is true for me.  As an introvert (not shy by any means); I need a lot of alone time to recharge, I'm easily overwhelmed (if too many people are talking to me or too much happening around me, I shut down) - My shadow self-  of wanting to please others, or being perfect, or appearing like I have my sh*t together is just the side of me that needs more attention and acceptance.

Like other humans, I get cranky, anxious, nervous, over-excited, bitchy, weepy, you name it, I experience it!  

Being an entrepreneur brings up shadow stuff in droves- it's how we deal with it that counts.   When we begin to care what others think, it diminishes our self-worth and we look outside of ourselves for approval.  Every day, I am devoted to teaching people to tune into the inner world; so they can begin to live more fully from their hearts.   My own mantras for this process  is; "bless and accept"  "I see it and I release it"  Accept and acknowledge the emotions that are coming up for you- just don't dwell to long in them.

I can assure you that everyone is traveling their own path- it's easy to judge someone else- but when we choose to accept ourselves with our fully human-ness; it really changes the nature of our existence.  We feel better about life and can focus on our own journey.    It's very freeing to live this way!

In short, my life isn't perfect- I make mistakes, I say stupid things, I get overwhelmed, sucked into another's drama, the list goes on. 

BUT, I will say this, it's MY life (the good, the bad the in-between) AND, I wouldn't trade a moment of it.  It might not be so perfect, but it's LIFE!

Living a life of JOY is my goal.  And, I have to say- so far, I've done a pretty good job.

How about you?

love, cathy


ps:  If you're looking to get clear on your next steps to live a life of JOY, check out  and grab your free gift!







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  • Catherine M Epstein on

    Kathleen- Thanks so much for your kind words!

    That’s such a profound comment, “When we realize that others have struggles, too, it’s easier to accept ourselves as we are, struggles and all. And that’s when healing and growth can happen!”

    You’re words are golden and I appreciate your encouragement about my sharing openly about my journey. We all have our own challenges and I’m happy that as I share mine, it can help others.

    Much love!

  • kathleen on

    Congratulations on the move and on all the other changes you made this past year. So excited to see what’s coming next for you!

    Thank you for sharing your challenges so openly. We all struggle with something. However, when we compare ourselves to others, their lives often seem effortless. Because we often keep our struggles to ourselves.

    When we realize that others have struggles, too, it’s easier to accept ourselves as we are, struggles and all. And that’s when healing and growth can happen!

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