"Walls keep people out, Boundaries teach them where the door is."
The Mind Makeover series continues.
#3 Healthy Boundaries
This week I want to talk about healthy boundaries- or how to honor yourself and your own energy.
I worked with a client who was the "yes" person in her entire family. And, she came from a large family. She was known as the "fixer" the "doer" and the problem solver.
Although she was the type of person who actually loved helping- it served her....to. a point.
When she realized that it was draining her and began to feel like she was being taken advantage of- she knew something had to change.
Together, we created a plan to have her draw better boundaries and to stand in her own power. It wasn't easy for her at first, but once the family members realized that she meant business- that's when the miracles happened.
They began to respect HER>
Said another way.
Once she began to respect herself, they began to respect her.
If you'd like to learn how to have better boundaries in your life, so you can reclaim your own energy-
Here's the plan we came up with:
✔1) Be direct. State your response in a positive way: "I'd like to help, but I can't do it now" (don't apologize)
✔2) Be firm. State your answer clearly (and recognize your desire to please them- at your own expense)
✔3) Offer an alternative. Her favorite response: "I know you're resourceful, so if you can't figure it out by _____, then let me know, and I'll try to help."
Self-Respect. By far, she loved #3 the most. It empowered her in such a way; and it made her feel like she was giving the responsibility back to the person.
They always found a way to figure it out.
Need help putting up boundaries, with co-workers, family members or other relationships?
Get crystal clear on what you will and will not tolerate; say "NO" in a clear and direct way.
Try the 3 steps outlined above and let me know how it works out for you.
Give up the "people pleasing" or the "good girl syndrome"-
You can still be the kind, caring and wonderful person you are, just not at the expense of your own well-being.
💥You can best teach people about healthy boundaries
by enforcing yours. 💥
LOVE YOU ALL!
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