By Catherine Epstein, Living Lotus Group
Here’s my story about Compassion.
I had been having some difficulty with a family member recently and was struggling with how to resolve it.
Sometimes, life has a funny way of giving you the answers, even when you don’t know what the question is.
The other day, during meditation, I was clearly “shown” her point of view…from her perspective. It made me take a pause and realize that we sometimes have no idea of the struggles of another – we are all wrestling with our own patterning and our own stuff- that we neglect to see the bigger picture.
Once I realized the source of her pain and the depth of her perspective, I softened. What hit me so deeply was that I was so mired in being not at fault, that I completely glossed over her side of the story. Ego is a tricky thing, and can sometimes lead us down a rocky road. Unless we are willing to own up, and put on our big girl pants- admit our faults and vulnerabilities, we can find ourselves deep in the cavern of psychological abyss. In this cavern, lies the shadows of parts of us that we aren’t willing to face. Projecting it onto another, it becomes easier to point fingers and say, “she did this horrible thing to me.” On the other hand, deep within this cavern lies the opportunity to face our shadow, and even come into acceptance with it.
Until I became willing to own up to my part and acknowledge how my actions and re-actions furthered the mis-understandings; we were both staying stuck in our “hands on the hips, it’s not my fault” stance.
The day after my meditation, I sent her a text that I wanted to speak with her. She tersely replied, “sure.” The beginning of the call, I could sense her mistrust of how this was going to play out. When I opened up to her, and shared my experience in the meditation, and I said that I had found compassion for her situation- it was as if the whole world shifted!
What a dynamic and fluid energy came to play in the dance of this human existence! It was like we were suddenly released from playing out these roles and this drama- and became as one energy, playing to the same tune. Then came tears of understanding and forgiveness, as we were able to recognize the struggles and perspective of the other. Then there was lightness and we were able to diffuse any remaining angst, with more compassion and even humor.
All I can say, is that without my daily routine of “going within,” this episode of familial upset, might have had a different ending. I’m very grateful for the time I take each day for my “sit.”
Compassion- it does a body good.
If you are curious about how to develop a meditation practice,
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Then I experienced the cosmic 2x4. That's my term for a course correction in life.
For me, it was a freaky fall, landing on my elbow, bruising a few ribs has set my plans on hold for now.
To be truthful, I've had some 'why me?' moments where I question the higher purpose. I've questioned what I could have done differently. Yet, the answer I get is "shit happens" and sometimes we don't know the higher purpose.